I've been searching for a metaphor to help me get through this cancer journey I find myself on. A friend of mine who's a breast cancer survivor said she thought of it as a river. Before I had my port installed yesterday I was imagining a dark river at night that I was being pushed into- so much unknown. The port was the beginning of this murky journey. But then yesterday morning I was looking at our retreat photos for courage and I shifted my metaphor to our creek. You get in the tube and look up. Some years the creek's high and you get a smooth, fast ride. Other years it's low and there are a lot of bumps on the way, places you have to work hard to keep yourself moving. But the scenery is beautiful if you look up and to the side. A lot is out of your control. I was happy for the rain yesterday, filling our creek to make the ride smoother. When I got to the hospital and learned that I wouldn't be completely sedated, that was a definite bump or rock to get stuck on. It was so scary being wheeled into the operating stage knowing I would be awake the whole time. So I closed my eyes and looked "up", imagining our sky and trees and it really helped. I also remembered the creatures Brendan and Caleb caught last year and imagined that all the doctors and nurses were those creatures.
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!